I hold so much respect for her musical opinion because she has unmatched taste. Although she may not have as big a bank of hip-hop knowledge as her man, she is exceptionally aware of modern, young hip-hop embodying artistic integrity, substance and style. This includes the likes of J. Cole, Wiz, Chiddy Bang, Yelawolf, Dom Kennedy, Blu, XV, Freddie Gibbs, etc - basically, the circle of individuals that I, as a twenty year old MC of my caliber, will mostly be surrounded by if I'm fortunate enough to create significant buzz in the Game.
So she's particularly tough on my work, as she should be but often to my frustration and dismay. I understand that in order to have even a fraction of the impact I dream of, not only on Hip-Hop, but society as a whole, I must perfect my craft and Desiré is the pilot of that ship. When everyone else will cream and gawk over how amazing I am as a lyricist, Desiré is guaranteed to the single voice amidst the clamor to point out my poor breathing, sub-par delivery or whatever else she's criticized me for in the past. At the time, yeah, it stings but I understand that she wouldn't take the time to critique if she didn't have any stock in me. I secretly think I'm her favorite MC, she's just too much of a toughie to admit it, especially considering my library of work consists of one living room-studio single and a slew of webcam-bred facebook videos.
Which brings me to the subject of the current entry. I recently slaved over the first verse for an upcoming song called "On The Shoulders of Giants" The song is gonna be beautiful, I know it but my drive to continuously outdo my last verse in the engendering of another made this particular verse exceptionally hard to recite. I was prompted to write it as I was browsing instrumentals in my iTunes library and upon stumbling across one by a Datpiff user named MG, I felt compelled, like I had no choice, but to write against it. I spent eight hours of a Thursday writing and reciting, writing and reciting, writing and reciting. Initially, I was super proud of it, I couldn't believe I was ripping as hard as I was. But as time progressed and the verse became harder and harder to convey, I began to grow increasingly frustrated in it. I went the whole eight hours without eating. Just wetting my pallet with water from my favorite canister and contorting my words in a fashion that only Bornfree can.
Eventually, I frustrated myself to the point where, although both my brother and father commended its progress and delivery, I just gave up. I'd almost thrown up upon three various recitations of the piece and I shamed myself for writing something physically impossible to convey. When my illa brother, Rikki (@RikkiWorld_) asked me about its progress, I simply replied that I had intentions to scrap it - something I haven't done since I was, like, seventeen. He immediately rebuked me for even considering giving up on that verse and although, at the time, I felt "man he just doesn't understand. I worked myself to death on that verse.", it was Rikki's persistence that I get it right that rekindled not only my work on the verse, but my belief in my ability as an MC.
It would be crazy cinematic for me to have arisen the next morning and gotten right back to laboring over the verse, however that isn't the approach I took. To myself, I'd just recite the verse - a line at a time. No matter what I was doing. Making a sandwich, walking through town, poking motherfuckers back on facebook, taking a shit - whatever, I continued to silently engrave each line into my head until it flowed effortlessly from my lips.
Soon I was ready to record it and share it with the world. So I set up photobooth, recorded myself spitting only once and immediately uploaded it to facebook, tagging the usuals. Within an hour and some change, eight people had commented and fifteen had liked it. Comments ranged from friends to other artists and an old flame saying things like "Fiyaaa!! Keep it coming! (:", "Doing great man, would love to hear this recorded." "you rap faster than twista" and so on - but it wasn't until three and a half hours after posting it that I'd received the most powerful affirmation of my work to date (not to disregard anyone else's appreciation however).
Desiré Davis had not only commented my video, she complimented it. Note that this is the same individual who, because of her criticisms, had me rerecording my current single "Heart on a Record" over a handful of times just for the rough draft.
It shocked my little system realizing her approval so much that, during our chat that night, I went through every aspect of her usual criticisms: Delivery, Content and Comprehension, and demanded her grade on each. She checked them all (although I kinda expected a letter grade - I mean really, when's the last time you got a check for a grade? C'mon now, baby.).
What I'm trying to say, I guess, is, I have both my brother and my girlfriend to thank if the ultimate outcome of this song is successful. Thanks Rik for not letting me quit and Desi, you set the standard, believe it or not, I am a better MC because of you.
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